A Very Muu Muu Evening

So today was a day of fucking ridiculous awesome shenanigans. As always. And it’s documented. With pictures. DUH!

BFF and I decided to go do things. What things, you ask? Well, the plan was as coherent as “Hey I’ll come over to your house and we can go into town.” Swell! This has all the makings of ridiculousness.

So we get in the car. Yes I’m being very literal. We get in the CAR.

Alright I lied. About the literal part. That would bore you.

Anywhoo, we go to our faaaaaavorite store ever, which is full of goody gag gifts and WONDERFUL awesome things. I got this hat.

It has BAT WINGS, YO!

I tried to make BFF buy this sticker for her truck, but no dice (cause it’s too true…)

TRUTH.

We got some stuff. Like my stripey black and green witch socks that you’ll see later on. But this is not the point of this blog entry.

So after going thrift-storing (yes, that’s a verb), onward to WAL MART! Wal Mart, though evil blah blah, has some pretty fucking rocking shit.

Case in point.

Yes. that's a fucking Muu Muu

Being the Klassy ladies that we are…

Oh wait there’s more to the story. So BFFD has been trying to coerce me to go to the bar all day. I don’t really want to go to the bar, I’m having too much fun playing in Wal Mart with BFF! But then, I spied the muu muus. My side of the story says that BFF and I spied the muu muus at the same time, but the Amazwins have differing opinions on the subject. She gives me full credit for the awesome that was our BAR COSTUMES.

We debated back and forth whether to get the same ones or not, but we settled on being matching, cause we often get accused of being twins, so why the fuck not.

We joined BFFD at the bar, with muu muus on (and me in the socks). The look on his face when we walked up was eleven kinds of priceless… Going from “Who the fuck is waving at me” to “Oh shit” in 3.2 seconds. I’m pretty sure he looked for somewhere to run, but it was too late because we spotted him first.

We went into the bar, and were promptly accosted by several people wanting to know what the occasion was for our outfits. Well… “It’s Saturday!” with a big psycho grin is what I told people.

Photo op started!

Fuck Dresses, we OWNED that place!

BFFD was a little tipsy to begin with.

The Trifecta

Met a random stranger who wanted to be famous with us…

He's not really touching our boobs. Promise. I don't think he even likes boobs, honestly.

We don’t have a picture of this… but we attempted an Amazwin piggy back ride for a picture, but those motherfucking muu muus are SLIPPERY and BFF and I ended up toppling over onto the bar floor. Sober. It was awesome, cause all the drunkies were amazed that the two sober people in the bar were falling down. Good times.

We got tired of the bar so we decided to bounce and go find better things than a flamer from LA to take pictures with.

Bear Stuff

Look Ma No Hands!!!!!

People walking past us tried desperately to avoid direct eye contact, in fear that our insane would be contagious.

Havin a bebe?

Into the Wild

Trouble right here!

It looks like a Penis

That bear molested me.

Ride 'em Cowgirls!

We had another encounter with a raving fan (read: drunk as shit girl who wanted in on the action)

The brilliance, it attracts strangers

Bear love.

We exhausted options on taking pictures with the magical metal bear, and wandered off deeper into town to see if there were more things to take pictures with.

This sign was awesome…

Only one way driving on this end.....

Naughty pavement.

Naughty pavement's cousin, naughty construction cone

This chair sucks.

It's Tinkle Time!!!!

My dear, I believe you are sending mixed signals.

Pimp THIS ride.

Sober Amazwins wandered back to the shit-tastic bar, to pick up BFFD from his night of drunken shenanigans. Since he may or may not read this blog, I’ll refrain from posting details that would be… sensitive… but let’s just say there was a lot of random nonsense. Favorite quote from Captain McDrunkey?

Me- “C is that your phone going off?”

BFFD- “No. You made it”

Me- “???? What?”

BFFD- “No, it’s not my phone. But it is my ring tone, Mr Jazz. Turn it up!!!”

Me- “uhhhhh… I don’t have your phone?”

BFFD- “WHAT! Am I too good for the radio???”

 

The best part? Walking into my house and having both dogs charge me, growling, with hackles raised, because they didn’t like the muu muu or the hat.
And this is why I have decided that being sober is so much more fun than getting drunk. Muu Muus, bear stuff, pictures, and a full memory of it all.