Otherwise known as… Conversations With People That Amuse Me, Part Deux
Busy day a week or so ago, and I was working at the counter of my business. We were rocking and rolling, helping a ton of customers. And then… this kid walks in.
He looks normal. Seriously. Probably a 20 year old college kid that may or may not have been smoking the reefer before coming in. Not that it’s my business, but still.
Conversation goes as follows:
Me: Blah blah super boring business related chit-chattery blah blah
Kid: *interrupts* How much do you think a cow costs?
Me: *blank stare* Like…an actual cow?
Kid: Well yeah.
Me: A live cow or a dead cow?
Kid: Definitely a live cow. I want to ride it to school.
Me: Hmm. Guess it would depend on what kind of cow you want. I’m betting a couple hundred bucks.
Kid: *obviously thinking*… well I’ve bought a dead cow before, so I’m guessing it’d be more to buy a live one.
Me: Maybe you could get one that was missing a leg, get a discount. Or get the “special” cow who was kind of dumb.
Kid: No way dude! I can’t ride a three-legged cow to school!
Me: *GALES OF LAUGHTER* Good luck with getting that cow, have a good one!
The very next customer….
Me: Blah blah super boring business related chit-chattery blah blah How’s your day going?
Dude: It’d be better if I hadn’t just gotten released from jail.
Me: Oh…I’m sorry to hear that.
Dude: Yeah. Me and my buddies beat the shit out of some dude downtown last night.
Me: *blink* Oh.
Dude: You’d think the cops would have some sympathy for a guy, we only beat his ass cause he punched his girlfriend.
Me: Well… people shouldn’t punch their girlfriends, no.
Dude: Yeah.
Me: *Holding back laughter* Well… hopefully the rest of your day goes better.
The next customer (A little old lady) (as I’m still busting up a little)…
Me: How’s your day going?
Lady: Well I’m glad I didn’t just get out of jail!!!
(at this point I’m HOWLING with laughter)
Me: You should have heard the kid who wanted to know how much a cow costs!
Some days, customers are awesome!
The second guy really needs to work on his sentence structure. It sounds like he’d rather still be in jail.
Oh yeah. He was not the brightest bulb.
hahahahaha… sometimes I do miss retail just for the interesting people.
“Interesting” is such a nice way to put it
Riding a cow to school is so environmentally friendly. I’m going to look into it.
You could recycle their poop as frisbees, too. Win win
Hahahahahaha, just what I needed this morning, thank you. Although now I wonder if a cow with mad cow would be cheaper than a 3 legged cow…
What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef! Hahahaa
Holy crap, Girl, where do you work? I need to work there. . .there’s a disturbing lack of comedic inspiration at the university. Le sigh…
I work at a financial institution haha, not exactly the pinnacle of hilarity, usually