Otherwise known as… Conversations With People That Amuse Me, Part Deux
Busy day a week or so ago, and I was working at the counter of my business. We were rocking and rolling, helping a ton of customers. And then… this kid walks in.
He looks normal. Seriously. Probably a 20 year old college kid that may or may not have been smoking the reefer before coming in. Not that it’s my business, but still.
Conversation goes as follows:
Me: Blah blah super boring business related chit-chattery blah blah
Kid: *interrupts* How much do you think a cow costs?
Me: *blank stare* Like…an actual cow?
Kid: Well yeah.
Me: A live cow or a dead cow?
Kid: Definitely a live cow. I want to ride it to school.
Me: Hmm. Guess it would depend on what kind of cow you want. I’m betting a couple hundred bucks.
Kid: *obviously thinking*… well I’ve bought a dead cow before, so I’m guessing it’d be more to buy a live one.
Me: Maybe you could get one that was missing a leg, get a discount. Or get the “special” cow who was kind of dumb.
Kid: No way dude! I can’t ride a three-legged cow to school!
Me: *GALES OF LAUGHTER* Good luck with getting that cow, have a good one!
The very next customer….
Me: Blah blah super boring business related chit-chattery blah blah How’s your day going?
Dude: It’d be better if I hadn’t just gotten released from jail.
Me: Oh…I’m sorry to hear that.
Dude: Yeah. Me and my buddies beat the shit out of some dude downtown last night.
Me: *blink* Oh.
Dude: You’d think the cops would have some sympathy for a guy, we only beat his ass cause he punched his girlfriend.
Me: Well… people shouldn’t punch their girlfriends, no.
Me: *Holding back laughter* Well… hopefully the rest of your day goes better.
The next customer (A little old lady) (as I’m still busting up a little)…
Me: How’s your day going?
Lady: Well I’m glad I didn’t just get out of jail!!!
(at this point I’m HOWLING with laughter)
Me: You should have heard the kid who wanted to know how much a cow costs!
Some days, customers are awesome!